It’s late and you’re walking home alone after a night of tomfoolery and nonsense. The coldness of the air cuts your skin like a razor as you scurry along a dark path. A figure walks out from your front and suddenly the frost of the wind isn’t what’s chilling you to the bone. A gun, pointed at you, aims to cut you dead in your path. You don’t know what to do; running would be fruitless, and you are without a gun yourself, defenseless. Each second feels like hours as the figure holding the gun makes their demands, wishing you knew how this would end. Are they going to shoot? Are they going to let me go? Why is this happening? These questions and more rush though your head like a torrent until the feared happens. In an instant, these thoughts, these actions or inactions, everything is meaningless. Bang.
You’re dead.
This scenario happens all the time in these bleak times, but you should not feel defenseless. You had the ultimate weapon the whole time: your intuition. Yes, you yourself can be your own hero, and bathe in the glory of a victorious battle. By following these five easy steps, anyone can fix this scenario and make it out alive and well, and stand over your opponent knowing that you are the victor.
1) Close the gap.
The term Sharpshooter is used to describe people who can shoot with precise accuracy at long-range. In the Olympic Games, shooting competitions measure the athletes’ ability to shoot targets from up to 50-300 meters away. The point of a projectile weapon is to hit targets are a far away distance. Had it not been for this, the use of a gun would not be necessary: we would use a more suitable weapon for close-range attacks, or so called melee weapons. A gun is not a close-range weapon.
So what is your assailant to think when their target is now directly in front of their face? Any training they’ve head in firearms have taught them to shoot at things far away, not close up. They will be confused, bewildered, unknowing what to do. The very weapon they bought to the fight is now meaningless and useless, and so are they. They can only do one thing: abandon using the gun and stare at your mean mug as you glare at them up close.
2) Grab the assailant.
They are in a daze, mulling over possible actions and events now that their target has beguiled them by moving in close. You need to take advantage of this moment! You’ve already closed the gap between you and your assailant, now go to the extreme of this action and physically grab your assailant. As your hand grasps the one who wished to do you harm, they will snap out of their befuddlement, now aware that they are no longer the aggressor. The tables turn as you turn them around in your arms and grasp them tightly from behind, around the neck. They are no longer in control; you have, quite literally, seized control from them and are in full command of how this scenario plays out. No longer do you feel the quiet fear that once beheld your emotions, but instead feel the rush of power as you intimidate your once assailer with a squeeze.
3) Throw them to the ground.
Well now you have your enemy in your arms, completely helpless. Don’t just sit there and talk to him! Take action! Think hard: you need to hit them with something, but you need to be quick and it has to be something close. What do you hit them with? That’s right, the ground. Any advanced, scientific mind should know why: by taking advantage of gravity you can make it do the work it takes to fell this foe (quite literally!). A kick to the leg, and a hard throw down and your opponent is down. Their head connects with the ground and they are out. The battle is won. Or is it?
4) Get to the next screen.
Your attacker is on the ground and you are standing above, a smirk on your face knowing that you bested someone with a gun with your own hands and gravity. So what now? Perhaps take a picture with your phone, or do your own personal victory dance? No! Get out of there! If you stand around, others could come to aid your former attacker, or he might even get up better prepared for hand-to-hand combat. But where to go? Obviously somewhere where they can’t follow you, but where is this? The answer to this is quite simply the next screen. The world is divided up into segments, called screens. Each screen is its own instance of the world and is different for each person. What does this mean? Well by crossing into another screen, they can’t follow you! You can march to one of these screens knowing full well that no one can follow you, and feel safe and calm immediately. To find the next screen, find anything that looks transitional, such as a door, an alley, a road, or stairs. Once you enter the next screen you are truly safe. Just don’t go back!
By understanding these fundamentals, you can master the art of self defense as a matter of common sense and elementary physics. Utilizing gap closures, gravity, and a deep knowledge of screens, you can safely defend yourself against any and all foes.
-(CE)Ian
